I don’t have a style and it makes me very insecure

One can tell who made a piece just by looking at it. It is not even worth it to bring up the OGs at this point, since, duh. I know who’s making the reel even with no face and just hands. These artists I follow have strong voices in which they can say a lot of diverse things so successfully. This also means that they don’t need to spend extra time to introduce and reintroduce themselves, that they have a very specific audience that will be loyal to their point of views, also that they’re comfortable in their own skin to a point where nothing else really matters. This space to me is sacred, it’s the sign of someone who knows who they are and are accepted in their community for being who they are. This style, if you want to call it that, comes from culture, technique, style, and even color selections. I’ve spoken to an artist with ADHD who throws shapes and words at his canvas based on how he feels. It’s his safe space where he doesn’t need to hold on to a train of thought, I mean, how fearless and beautiful is that?!!! You stand in their exhibit and you’re surrounded by one unique, unified energy that says so much to you but in the same voice and the effect to me is magical. It’s a space that is harmonious and grounded.

That’s the exact opposite of where my journey is at this point. There’s a lot of experimenting with everything from fabric to ceramics (I haven’t introduced you to that work yet but it’s coming.) I also love paper mache. Acrylics. Line drawing. Tribal art. I can just about manage to draw and do a little bit of calligraphy. I love it all equally. 

I believe that advertising taught me to use tools that best convey a message with an unbiased mindset. Ads can’t all look the same because even if it’s the same person making them, every brand has its own personality, the successful ones have a strong identity. Between the shape, color and packaging, something will tell you what you’re looking at, and all successful ones use the simplest of elements. 

The art that comes from my inspiration has its own story that usually starts with a picture in my head. It will then lend itself to either my tools, an experiment, or a technique I need to learn. Some of them are an uphill battle, so they need time and work and rework. Some work right away. Some look nothing like the inspiration. I’ve only ever walked away from one. Actually haven’t quit yet, just regrouping. For a very, VERY long time. But yes, thats how it has generally been this far.

I fear that this path is leading me to a place where you wouldn’t be able to stand in front of my canvas and say for certain where it came from. It makes me very insecure.

A part of me knows that I haven’t worked at a technique long enough to make it my own. My sketching skills are now non-existent. So are my brushstrokes. I am hiding behind fabric, to be honest, because it is so much more forgiving than the brush. You’ll see my ceramic stuff too when I have enough to show. My acrylics are all custom works that have been extremely well liked, but none look like the other. Maybe theres more on the horizon that I haven’t given enough thought to. 

I’ve drawn enough times and made enough things in my past to see a pattern in my own personality. Repetitiveness is boredom to me, I’ve really never made the same thing twice. You can call it my advertising training- call it a restless mind. Call it immaturity and impatience, but that’s where I am. 

A part of me wants to own it, since I can do so many things and am open to learning. That’s my signature: the technique will come from inspiration. A lot of stories need a lot of diverse voices, and there are people out there who don’t mind pushing the boundaries of their own capabilities. It comes from a place of confidence that failure is learning, and if you keep learning, success will follow. If I could concentrate more on making good art, doing good work, maybe it won’t be about identity any more.  

The problem still persists even with my mind games I play with myself. Do I need to look within and commit to a style, or keep my experiments purely to learn and grow. 

Maybe I will leave it to time and the universe to show me the path to my destination. I know what that is: to make good work. To create things that make the journey just as fulfilling as completion.  

You, as the viewer, could help a lost and confused artist win the battle within.